Category: Miscellany

eMarketer, a marketing research group, just came out with a new report entittled ONLINE DATING GETS TOUGH We have excerpted some of the report that states–

Online dating was one of the few paid-content success stories of the dotcom boom. As recently as 2003, total revenue for companies in the online dating market was growing at more than 70% annually….

No more. Today online dating is a hectic market, competition is coming from all directions. As a result, online dating’s growth has slowed significantly….

‘The fact is that online dating is a mature market,” says Mr. Belcher. (eMarketer online senior analyst and author of the report) Sites now specialize in matching people of specific races, religions, interests and professions, and there are multiple sites competing in each of these niches. Some sites now facilitate webcam-based dates, video-blogging, and other technological marvels.’

In addition to competition within the category, a new potential competitive threat is arising: social networking sites. MySpace and Friendster offer online dating as one of the ways people may connect and communicate — and they’re free. Traffic on these sites has grown far more quickly in the past year than for online dating sites as a whole…

‘Free online dating sites, be they social networking or other, are not after the same customers as subscription-based online dating sites,” says Mr. Belcher. ‘Free sites are pursuing advertisers. Subscription-based online dating sites, on the other hand, are pursuing serious paying online daters.

The fact that serious online dating sites are not only surviving, but in some cases are charging higher fees, reveals that those who want such services will seek them out, and at a price.’

It appears that online dating is about to undergo some serious weeding. I suppose more and more interested parties are discovering that the sites and those who join them are not necessarily the stuff that dreams are made of. Perhaps higher hopes and expectations have led to disappointment and disillusionment, and like brick and mortar real life, the person at the other end of your email is less than what you had imagined. After all, without a face and body before us, many will tend to fashion or even manufacture their dream companion out of someone utterly of clay. Your Guinevere or Sir Lancelot in virtual reality may be the same jerk yakking on the phone at the coffee shop. The one who made eyes at you, before you snarled under your breath and turned away. She may be the woman who doesn’t shut up, even when she is eating.

The other thing so many experience to their dismay on the dating sites is that the promising one, the one you boiled it down to, is not only the big let down. It is the one possibility you found after arduous work sorting through the idiots and perverts who were making offers you wouldn’t dare entertain, even at closing time. So after eluding a few dozen exotic deviants who left messages in your mailbox, you are ultimately left to face an opening date with your garden variety jerkweed or his female replicant.

Perhaps charging more brings a better breed and a better selection to the online dating website. A website specializing in like minded brains or people with like minded interests may be well intended, but it is stil vulnerable to creeps and con-artists who warrant at least a background check before you even give them your name. At the risk of sounding elitist, money, or more specifically, higher rates, has a tendency to weed out at least the con artists and the low lifes. To be sure, there are plenty of rich jerks who can easily afford the cost of an upper scale online dating site, or a matchmaker with “A Class” clientle. As we know, some of the wealthy can be as deviant or as dangerous as your pathological gutter slug. But perhaps the old adage remains true–“You get what you pay for.” You want to get married, you pay the right price for the right testing for the right companion. You want to just fool around, well it will cost you less, and you will be meeting those who are…well…not interested in a lasting relationship.

In any event online social networking and online dating are here to stay. Some will falter, some will survive, and the best will prevail. As a society that increasingly turns inward to the point where we can’t say hello to each other on a busy street, these sites are instumental in providing hope at least and results at best. They are the automated love toys of an automated society.

We found this article on Yahoo a press release generated by Great Date Now, Inc.—

Matchmaking, a centuries old practice of matching single people who have shared beliefs and common interests, has made a return! A modern day version of a matchmaker comes in the form of Great Date Now, Inc. which is a professional matchmaking service dedicated to bringing good people together, one great date at a time!…

Anyone who is single knows that the dating scene is tough! Personalized introductions from a matchmaker who cares is the preferred method of dating for today’s busy professional…

Former online daters and present clients of Great Date Now, Inc. say they are ready for a more sophisticated, personalized and efficient way to meet serious romantic partners and the best service to provide the dating opportunities is a professional matchmaker like Great Date Now, Inc.!

Hello, Dolly was the Broadway Show then movie based on Thornton Wilder’s “The Matchmaker.” It tells the tale of Dolly Levi, reputed matchmaker, and her secret yearnings for a romance of her own. Carol Channing played her on stage, and Barbra Streisand was Dolly in the film version. The stage musical was a major hit; the film a bit of a flop, given that the sixties were in full swing and Dolly was a little too quaint for that era. The centuries old legacy of matchmaking was shelved for another time. This is the time. Again. Because personal matchmaking is back. I must say, it makes a lot of sense.

In this era of advanced technology, psychographics and personality tests it is gratifying to see the artful practice of matchmaking has returned to us, albeit in a decidedly modern form. The matchmakers of today are reconstituted for a well worn tradition, and are today referred to as consultants. Then, today, who isn’t or doesn’t have a consultant? But I digress. Because it is in the modern age, where we have assumed science has rendered romance a more palpable activity, the new matchmaking sites have the requisite written tests and personal interviews.

Still, the updated traditional matchmaking process offers the welcome qualities of simplicity and intimacy. This is important and one of the major differences between matchmaking and online or even speed dating. Matchmakers, sorry, consultants, believe in the personal touch since it helps determine nuances among the applicants. By sitting down and actually talking to the aspiring romantics, the matchmaker will see if they are shy or awkward, if they stutter, slobber or if their palms start sweating when they draw within ten feet of the opposite sex. In other words, a good matchmaker relies on observation of the total human factor as opposed to mere answers on the page. A good matchmaker offers quality by handpicking each prospective paramour rather than laying out a couple dozen “possibilities.” With a matchmaker it is like the difference between buying at a knowledgeable boutique instead of self-service at the supermarket. If she is doing her job, and it is almost always a “she,” you get a quality candidate, someone in the proverbial ballpark, as opposed to another list of names.

I remember vaguely the couple of little old ladies my grandmother would point out to me as the matchmakers, and how they were part of a “dying breed.” Even as a kid I saw in their eyes the kind of perceptive ability that great coaches and managers have for sports and entertainment talent. These little old women could size up someone in seconds, ascertaining in their personalities the strong and weak points, the eccentricities and predilections and then go off and find someone fitting. They knew good matchmaking was about time and patience. It was about chemistry and understanding, not just understanding the “significant prospect” but understanding the mysteries and fate riddled impositions of life itself.

So now in our world of shorthand and short cuts, the failures of millions to find compatibility in that wild and wicked world of ours, we have returned to the venerable matchmaker. In a world where advanced communications systems and instant messaging have left ourselves where we began—out with the boys or home alone with the cat, a quart of ice cream and a couple of video DVD’s—we maybe realize the more we talk, the less we comprehend. In a world where everyone walks around with a telephone jammed in his ear, it becomes increasingly difficulty to filter the ingenuousness of a romantic entreaty from one more stupid line. After nine million email exchanges that have given us hope and then dashed them into futility, it is often hard to tell the prospects from the projects.

Many of us have had it up to here, buying so many new pairs of underwear for so many thankless dates they should list our names on a plaque in Victoria’s Secret or Neiman Marcus. We have anointed ourselves with perfume and cologne by the gallon, both foreign and domestic. We have gone to the gym, been waxed, wrapped and had so many makeovers and changeovers we have to consult our driver’s license to see who we really are. We have speed dated, slow danced and resorted to the kindness of strangers. And, finally, we are turning again to something so old it is new. The matchmaker.

Matchmakers are important because they refuse to abide by the status quo. If they are really good, they defy even acknowledging the so-called box, yet alone thinking inside or out of it. They have a feeling for what works. They are instant background checks all to themselves, knowing just who they are putting together. They use modern methods for running background checks, and they take the time to ask around about past loves and present endeavors. A true matchmaker in the tradition of Dolly Levi would scoff at the notion that marriages enjoy little more than a fifty-fifty chance of survival. A good matchmaker knows that leaving the toilet seat up isn’t credible grounds for divorce, anymore than cooking just like mom is necessarily an asset. A good matchmaker knows life and love with all its mysteries, and how relationships can grow, providing richer rewards over many years. Matchmakers have returned to us because like the relationships they arrange, they are built to last.

So…”Welcome back, Dolly…it’s so nice to have you back where you belong.”