Category: Relationships

The INTERNATIONAL MARRIAGE BROKER REGULATION ACT OF 2005 (IMBRA) will soon go into effect. Do to domestic abuses, the new law attempts to protect foreign or “mail order brides.” For the complete text of the statute you can go to this site

Here are some of the stipulations established by the new law–It requires all U.S. gentlemen who petition for a fiancee or spousal visa to provide more personal background information to Immigration Service and the State Department than ever before….

The law also requires a U.S. gentleman who wishes to meet his future fiancee or spouse through an “International Marriage Broker” to first submit extensive personal background information to the broker agency. The broker must then share that information with a future lady fiancee or spouse who must consent before the couple can start a communication and relationship…

Homeland Security will develop and make available on USCIS, State Department and Embassy websites a domestic violence pamphlet brochure in 14 languages and revised every 2 years which discusses the visa process, adjustment of status, conditional residency, marriage and visa fraud, domestic violence abuse rights, where and how to get help and other warnings and notifications…

International Marriage Brokers are required to check the National Sex Offender public registry and state public registry for each specific U.S. client, and to gather mandatory background information and documents on that particular U.S. client’s past criminal history, including prostitution offenses, past domestic violence history, past marital and divorce history, past visa petition history, ages of any children under age 18, and all states and countries where the U.S. client lived since age 18.

Seems to us that this is yet one more law that is well intentioned but resented by more than a few. Since Corra Group is a pre-employment and online and singles dating background service, we see the merits of conducting background checks. Perhaps in this case, where the decision to conduct background screenings is left up to either a naive foreign future bride or an International Matchmaker it is best that in this instance background checks are mandated by federal law. Surely one can argue that this invades the privacy of a prospective suitor. But then when all a foreign woman has to go on is her own instincts and the reputation of the International Marriage Broker, perhaps this helps even the playing field. It is not like a mail order bride can spend a lot of time with a guy, before she makes up her mind.

We can see where the new law can serve as the romantic “buzz kill” to what amounts to the mail order bride industry. All that paperwork and personal revelation. What were they providing before, name and phone number? No matter, whether the law adds extra steps to the holy union or not, we have to wonder how romantic could the usual mail order process possibly be? It is not like the new law is taking the romance out of the courtship. It may remove some of the anxiety, but it’s doubtful the process of the arrangement is reduced any further by the paperwork and bureacracy. If it is not an act of desperation, than one who seeks a mail order bride has settled for a calculated attempt at a workable partnership. This is not to say this system doesn’t have its merits. People need each other, and anytime you can put two people together it is a success on at least a moderate level. Still, it lacks the ingredients of even the duller of Hollywood movies.

Some may argue there is no need for this new law. They may argue domestic abuse is infrequent in these situations and the Federal Government is overcompensating for a non-issue. And they may be right, although many statistics about domestic abuse in general reveal it is quite prevalent. Toss in the fact that someone has a record of such abuse or has developed behavioral patterns that lend themselves to abusive practices then this information should be available to the mail order bride.

New laws are often unwieldy and difficult to enforce. This new law adds even more bureacracy and detracts from whatever lyricism exists when ordering a mail order bride. But at a time when slavery is prevalent and domestic abuse is at a record level, perhaps we can justify a statute that helps relieve doubt and anxiety. If they check your background when you buy a gun, then maybe they should develop a little scrutiny when you order up a bride.

We recently found this article, “Seven Amazing Steps to Finding Your Soulmate,” by Ida Home. Here are some of the excerpts and, naturally, our comments–

1. The first you have to do is being honest with yourself, knowing who you are and what you are about. This issue tightly depends on your selfesteem, so work it out at this instant, always keep in mind a good image of yourself, this is the essence of being ready for your love!

2. Remember that unless you are ready to meet the love of your life, it won’t come for you, because everything depends on how much you want it to happen. Wise men say that when you really want something, the whole Universe rearanges itself for making your wish come true.

3. After you take a good look at yourself, hear what Mother Nature whispers in your ear about looking for someone of certain looks and physical features that suits you best. Did you know that soulmates almost look like one another? That soulmates may be so very different in appearance but still so alike?

4. I can hear some of you saying that things are as difficult as easy they seem to be, because matching is a complex scenario… Concentrate on the solution of the matter not on the issue itself, do your part of the job faithfully and do not worry.

5. Obviously that none of us wants to become haunted, obsessed by an ideal of love that never shows up, right? That’s why you have to cut the belt, free your mind of your desire (which has already put to work the invisible engines of the Universe, believe it or not !) and do your usual stuff.

6. And here comes the tough part: waiting! Wait for a while and let the Nature action for how long as it takes. Take into account that you have already helped Nature with your faith and your strong action.

7. Finally , let me share a secret with you: don’t to tell anyone you are about to meet your soulmate. The deepest desires must not be shared until they come true.

It seems anymore that nothing is left to chance. There has to be a rule and guide for everything. Even the mysterious forces of fate and circumstances, have to be hooked up to guidlines that if practiced should lead to success. No they won’t. Because much of finding your soul mate is not a matter for game theory, but a game of charm, chance and, frankly, luck. I don’t blame the author for developing these guidlines, because in this day and age the need for instant gratification is inversely proportional to the understanding of timing and patience.

My experience with soul mates is that most met by accident. It was more a matter of surprise than cosmic recognition they had found the one, at last. They never expected the universe to rearrange itself to accomodate their quest for somebody to love. The universe, instead, presented somebody to love and gave them a choice–love them or let the opportunity slip on by. The universe is strange that way. It is better to go with its flow than try to engineer it. As for these soul mates looking like each other–sometimes they do and sometimes they don’t. In the overall, people look more like their dogs than they look like their mates. From the get-go people are attracted to dogs that look like them. People are not always attracted to mates that bear their resemblance. It’s rare that a homely somebody deliberately chases a homely somebody else. Sometime we just amortize the overall package and take the good with the not so good. Yes, of course their is chemistry between compatible people. And it is a fact that couples pick up the traits and mannerisms of one another, but that is over time. But that doesn’t make you soul mates, necessarily. If you are picking up your mate’s habits, that may be accountable to anything from a weak personality to a bad case of the “cutesies.” It can be fetching, or it may be repugnant, depending on the habits you adopt. Then again, if you are picking up you dog’s traits, you shouldn’t be out in polite society.

The author is correct in suggesting you become neither haunted nor obsessed and you keep to yourself the fact that you are preparing to meet your soul mate. I don’t think these suggestions will enchance your chances of finding your soul mate, but they will keep people from viewing you as one more nut job. And if you do chance to meet someone who actually finds you interesting, you don’t want to screw it up by talking soul mates when they are thinking more on the lines of dinner and a movie.

It is always good to remember that some people, in fact a whole bunch of them, don’t even believe in soul mates. Some are less prone to believe their current romance is less fated by the cosmos than it was mandated by certain obsessions and a head full of demons. Many would meet the man or woman of their dreams and still want to check them out. There are more than a few people who rather than quest for a soul mate just want somebody with whom they get along. They just want someone they can talk to, go out with, have sex with, even if it is not for eternity but to get them through the night. More often than not, that is good enough.